Okay, I admit I kinda sorta have been thinking about how I could showcase this rad picture in a blog post ever since my mom sent it my way a few weeks ago, but as I was scrolling through images recently, I realized that the story I wanted to share today was one that basically was already written in my head.
We have known now, for a little over a month now, that Baby M is a female. It’s so easy to think, then, of the fun, cute aspects of having a baby girl – from the cute clothes and pretty nursery decorations, to her potential name, but what’s been bouncing around my head more recently has been a lot more deep and thoughtful.
You see, I have long found it interesting how many couples seem to think about having a baby as JUST having a baby. A crying, peeing, pooping little human – unable to care for themselves. This helpless, tiny, beautiful thing – and that’s it. But – that’s not it. Choosing to bring another life into this world – whether it’s through childbirth, fostering, adoption – means bringing another PERSON into it.
Yes, I know it sounds like premature thinking, but it’s true. From the moment I realized I was pregnant, I have been examining myself as a person, and as a person about to become a parent. Who am I? What will my child see when they gaze into my eyes? What is my legacy? How do I share that?
Adding to the mix…our Baby M – our daughter – that brings more joy, of course, but challenges, too. Life is sweet as a female – I mean, I quite enjoy it myself – but I believe, as a the years go on, it’s harder. There are so many choices to make, so many things to learn, and things to discover. As parents, it’s our job to instill certain values and belief systems, but to also know when to let our children make mistakes – to feel disappointment, and to understand why the world the way it is, even if we don’t know ourselves.
As we move closer to meeting our little girl, I am thinking beyond what she might look like, or how she might sound the first time I hear her cry. I am thinking about my heart, and how she already has it – and maybe that’s all that really matters, anyway.